laying it down

I'm not sure who this post is for, but I know the Lord wants me to write it. As far as summers go, this has been one of the hardest/greatest summers of my life. He has spoken in such powerful ways, and one of those I would like to share. The past 3 months have been full of change, and honestly, not the change I particularly desired. The change was necessary, I soon learned. Have you ever felt like you were supposed to fight for something, believing it to be His perfect Will for your life and then not see it come to fruition? Have you ever prayed for something that you 100% believed was a desire from Him? Man, I sure have. But I have also experienced freedom from this fight, the freedom to let it go even though. The expectancy I now have doesn't lie in my agenda anymore. To fully surrender and let go is the best feeling in the world once you do it. Lord, my heart is Yours. My life is Yours. Have Your way in me. I can pray that wholeheartedly without any concealed motives now. And goodness, I am fuller than I have ever been! I am hopeful and so expectant for great things from Him. One of the first days I was in Uganda, I was riding in a taxi with a lot of other people. My typical taxi ride consisted of me putting on my headphones and listening to worship music. This particular day I decided to make a playlist for the summer. I started going through my songs and I came across this song...I don't even know the name of it...and added it. I didn't even listen to it fully until after I had gotten all the songs I wanted. On the ride back to the house, this song came on and oh my goodness, it was written just for me. I am convinced more of this now than ever because I cannot find this song anywhere online. I have no idea how this song got put on my ipod, but one thing I know is that He wanted me to have this song. And I know that there are others that He is trying to speak the same thing to so I want to share some of the words. This has been my life's song this summer. He speaks, you just have to be willing to hear.



"Here in persistence I've sat on this doorstep and cried
I've pounded
Waiting for answers to questions I would not let die
Confounded
Above all my knocking I hear You
Tell me its time to move on
To abandon the hope I have clung to
Holding out for a key for so long...

If I lay this down for You,
Trusting Your wisdom and strength to see me through,
I'd be walking away from my dream and desire
For reasons much higher
Than I could aspire to know,
If I finally let it all go for You...

I thought for awhile you'd come to my senses and see my reasons
With all my persuasion, you'd open eventually,
In season.
Stubborn and certain, I've pleaded,
Knocking with all of my might
Sure this was all that I needed
For an echo of hope I have tried


If I lay this down for You,
Trusting your wisdom and strength to see me through,
I'd be walking away from my dream and desire
For reasons much higher
Than I could aspire to know,
If I finally let it all go for You..."