In all honesty....

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a dream. A dream that doesn't slow down. Ever. And a dream where events consume my life. Then I try to wake up......and I can't. Because this is my life. Not always what I expect, but it is what it is. I cannot believe Christmas is almost here. I'm doing a countdown on my board in my classroom and we only have 5 full days of school left. That is insane! Where does time go? That verse about life being but a vapor is really starting to hit home for me. Time, to me, almost contradicts itself. I feel like my time in Uganda was forever ago, but at the same time, I also feel like it was yesterday. There are so many events that I look back on, many of which I have loved, and some of which I am glad have passed. I am blessed. I have been blessed all my life. But....I never want to relive 2009 again and thank goodness I won't ever have the chance to! It was a year full of learning/growing/healing, and I am so thankful for that, but the Lord has really done miracles in 2010. I have fallen so in love with the only man that can satisfy me - Jesus. He has truly stolen my heart and all I want to do is serve Him, glorify Him, love Him, and tell others about Him. I am not successful all of the time, but I know that He desires this of me and I only want to please Him.

I think it is funny that some of my posts reflect how I think. I am such a random commentor/thinker and most of the time I catch the other person I am in a conversation with off guard. It's quite funny, but what's even funnier is that as I am typing this, my mind is in a million directions. If I put all that I wanted to in this one blog entry, you would have a hard time following it. I say that to say, I am about to change topics. And probably change again before I am done. So here it goes....stay focused because I am going to at least give you a heads up :)

Change of topic 1:

Not sure who else is struggling with this, but I am really praying and longing for direction in every area of my life. I feel like this is something I always pray for, but over the past month it has been a constant prayer. I am, at times, clueless as to what He wants from me, where He wants me to go, what He wants me to do, etc. And this can get very frustrating. Sometimes I feel like I am getting a lead, and then something happens to veer me away from it. I often ask Him questions like "Haven't I been faithful enough for You to at least POINT me in the right direction?" or "Come on, Lord! Something!". I don't ask to know every part of my future, but I at least need something. Or do I? This week, I feel like He has revealed to me that He isn't going to reveal to me. Ha. Gotta love that, huh? To be honest, I was relieved to know that I probably won't know what my future holds. I think too often, I try to figure it all out before I make big decisions. Then I am reminded that if I had it all figured out, I would lack the Faith that He so desperately wants me to have. Sometimes it is up to me to take that leap. He may not give me His audible voice, but He definitely gives peace. Peace is so often the answer that I am asking/looking for and yet, I sometimes think that isn't enough for me to actually step out on. But it is. I agree, it is wonderful to wait patiently....but it's also good to move ahead in the things i have prayed over and found peace in. The hard part, is actually doing this! And it's really going to challenge me now that I have professed it for all of the blogger world to see! It felt good, to type myself through that one :)

Change of topic 2:

I went to the Jim Brickman concert last year and I also went last night. If you love music, especially the piano, you should really check him out. Last night, he had many special guests. My favorite was Richie McDonald from Lonestar. He sang "I'm already there" and part of "Amazed by you". It was fantastic! The only concerts I really enjoy are those where you can sit down and just listen. I'm not a huge fan of the standing, mosh pits (did I spell that right?), and screaming concerts. That just doesn't exemplify Carrie Clark. But the romantic ones, like Jim Brickman, sure do! Okay, that's supposed to be a joke but in all seriousness, it's true. I love the slow beat, the piano, and the love songs. It all makes me melt! All in all, it was a wonderful concert. Thank you, Dr. and Mrs. Boudreaux for taking me again!!! Love you both so much!

Change of topic 3:

I love Christmas time. I know everyone says that, but the months of November and December are my favorite months of the year! The excitement even exceeds the month of June's now that I am approaching 30. I have had Christmas decorations up in my house since the middle of November and I started to play Christmas music every day in my classroom after Thanksgiving. It all makes me happy! My Christmas party is coming up next weekend and this year it is a tacky sweater party! I cannot tell you all how ridiculous my sweater is..hopefully you can see! So if I forgot to say something to you about it, please ask! I would love to have you :)

Change of topic 4: (last one)

I have been getting E-mails from this company asking me to come out to some police training. Really? Can anyone see me being a police officer? I laugh everytime I get them, but really I would be a horrible police woman. Okay, that's all I wanted to say about that.

Thanks for following my semi-serious, semi-unimportant random blog topics.